How to Teach Your Kids to Play Chess (Without Making Them Hate It)

Chess is good for you! Playing chess helps your brain grow and stay protected! Chess has 11 essential vitamins and minerals you need! Well, that last one might not be true, but you’ve probably heard a lot about the benefits for children of learning chess. You don’t want to order them to Sit Down and Play Your Chess as if it’s a plate of Brussels sprouts, though. How can you introduce chess in a fun and engaging way? Try these strategies!

Set a Kid Trap

Kids are naturally curious, and they love games. A helpful strategy for introducing anything new is to just set it up and leave it out. A kid-friendly set in a quiet place will attract them like moths to a flame. Public chess equipment like oversized garden/park sets and library sets are also irresistible. When your kids show an interest, let them play with the pieces (respectfully, of course). You can tell them about how the pieces move and see if they can copy that. At first, the goal should be to get them interested in something fun. Chess pieces are naturally fun to play with!

Once they’re playing with the pieces, play with them! Kids crave parental interaction and attention, and chess can be a great positive activity for families. Playing with grandparents can be extra special, too. Many great chess players started by playing with a parent or grandparent before moving on to professional coaches. There will always be something special about one-on-one play with your adults.

Start Really, Really Small

For kids, starting with full games against an adult will probably be very discouraging. You’re trying to avoid one of those kid snap judgments of “I’m not good at chess” that seem to stick forever. Here are some good ways to start small:

• Play simple games that use just a few pieces. Chess Tag is a fun way to learn the pieces, and Pawn Wars is dead simple and fun, using only pawns to race to the other side. Chase the king with a knight or use the bishops to try to corner him. This reinforces how the pieces move
• Set up simple puzzles and “play” them. Mate in one is a good place to start. Only having a few pieces on the board makes puzzles less intimidating than full games, and there’s a nice feeling of success when they solve them.
• Let kids make up their own games using the pieces and their movements! It may or may not work out to be a “game,” but thinking about how the pieces might be used is always a good exercise. Who knows? They could be onto something.

Make It So…. Possible (and Positive)

Chess is a great way to build emotional regulation skills and learn to handle failure with grace. That said, no one sticks with something where they never succeed. When your chess kid is ready to play full games, be aware of your skill gap and use appropriate handicapping. Giving your new player knight odds by removing one of your knights, for example, or even more pieces, will give them a chance at winning. This is not only appropriate, but it’s also vital to building confidence and keeping the game enjoyable. Leveling the field also lets them play out strategies and endgames.

Even when the difficulty level is appropriate, blunders and losses are part of playing chess. Great players like GM Magnus Carlsen can make mistakes that cost them games. When your young player has a setback, acknowledge it, review what happened, and focus positively on what to do next. It’s heartbreaking when a kid decides they don’t like chess because of an adult's negativity. Remember, they haven’t mastered that skill YET. (Read more about The Power of Yet and developing a growth mindset here.)  

Feed When Hungry to Avoid Burnout

Kids have a wide range of interest levels in activities, from the kid who goes to taekwondo simply because their parent drove them there to the dancer who takes every class. Chess is no different. If you have a kid who is mildly interested in chess, your approach should be low-intensity. If your kid can’t get enough, get them signed up for clubs and lessons right away.

Know when to use a push/pull approach to calibrate how much chess you have in your lives. Your kids should be “pulling” most of the time, meaning they look forward to chess practice, they actively participate and learn, and they eagerly sign up for challenges. “Pushing” can look like a parent who signs their kid up without asking, forces them to go, and uses a stopwatch to time mandatory practice sessions every day. It might also look like reminders and encouragement to keep with it when things get challenging. The balance between push/pull is one of the most important factors in keeping your chess kid from falling out of love with chess. Let them set the tone for how seriously they want to take chess, with your perspective and encouragement. Striking the right balance will keep chess from becoming a battle or a burnout.

Use the Correct Tools, Including Screens

So far, we’ve focused on a lot of parent/kid interaction, but what do you do when you’re not available? This is the perfect time for online chess sites to bring on a little good screen time. If all goes as planned, your chess kid will want to play chess for more hours than you can carve out as a busy adult.

For beginners and young kids, ChessKid.com is a great resource. It offers lessons, puzzles, and bots to play against. Kids can play chess online with other kids in a safe, anonymized, and chat-free environment. Accounts are free and include parental controls and supervision tools. Kids can play slow chess or other variations live anytime. While online play shouldn’t be all of a kid’s chess practice, its easy availability and quality features make it a good option. Older kids can play on Chess.com or Lichess.org with chat turned off, giving them more options for game variations and tougher competition.

Another great tool hooking the younger generation on chess is YouTube. Superstar chess streamers like Gotham Chess are well-known to older kids. While unfettered access to YouTube is definitely not a good idea (yikes), allowing some chess entertainment can be a great “carrot” that’s still educational. A couple of other channels that come up often for kids are Anna Cramling and ChessKid. From streaming chess matches to instruction to funny chess challenges, these chess channels have a lot to offer.

It Doesn't Need to Be All You, All the Time

We can’t leave out chess clubs and schools as valuable partners for instilling a love of chess in kids. Beyond instruction and improvement, the chance to play chess with friends and enjoy casual games helps keep chess fun. Chess kids typically look forward to club time, and it creates many opportunities. If you find your kid loves chess, a club can open doors to competitive rated chess, new friendships, and excellent coaching and mentoring. This can also save you when your kid quickly surpasses you (like mine did) and needs a bigger challenge.

Let the Kids Lead

Kids love to play games, and chess is no different. Most kids will give it a shot, and many will stick with it for a while if it’s fun and challenging. Remember to start small, keep it positive, and let your kid’s level of interest lead the way, and you’ll have the best chance of sparking a lifelong hobby that isn’t just fun—it’s also good for them!